INDIAN TAMIL DATING IN A MODERN WORLD

There are approximately 77 million Tamil’s in the world. Tamil people are an ethnic group from Tamil Nadu, India and the north east region of Sri Lanka. Over 85 percent are Hindu with the remaining percentages made up of Christian and Muslim beliefs. Most Tamils have strong feelings about their native language Tamilannai and to a large extent it still defines their identity.

Tamil dating is a rough subject for many Tamil people since their history involves a lot of arranged marriages and inter-racial marriage. Many parents still feel the need to help their daughters find a man to marry even when their daughters don’t want or need help. It is considered a big no-no for a Tamil daughter to not be married by the time she is 30. Parents will often grill the man that is interested in their daughter to make sure that he meets their requirements for marriage. These requirements vary from height to education and family history.  The pressure to be in a relationship with a person that family approves of causes many younger Tamil men and women to hide their love lives from their families.

Traditional Hindu Tamil families have very strong beliefs about marriage and sex. Tamil dating is, in their tradition, a relationship heading towards marriage. Sex before saying ‘I do’ is a very taboo thing. It is believed that sex outside of marriage is a sin and will lead to hell. However many Tamil’s believe that it is ok to live with a partner as long as they are not having sexual relations before marriage.

Due to the pressure to marry a pure Indian woman there are men who will give up the woman that they are in love with to marry someone that their family approves of rather than face the wrath of family traditions.  Other men will have extramarital affairs with the woman that they are in love with along with marrying a woman that their family helps choose or approves of.

In the western hemisphere there are many complications in family life as many Tamil men and women are converting to western beliefs about dating and sex. Sometimes when that happens if the parents are not open to western beliefs they will be totally cut off from the family. The parents will cut off all communication between them and their child and will pretend that they no longer exist.

There are many websites devoted to helping Tamil’s find partners all over the world that would be approved by their family. One example of these websites is UKasianmatch.com an online matchmaking site devoted to helping Tamil singles in England, Scotland, Wales, and North Ireland to find relationships, marriage and love